Following Through

I have a bad habit of speaking in hyperbole, so it's no surprise that in
disciplining my children

I might resort to exaggerated or unrealistic consequences

I would rather not follow through on.

Most of the time they are consequences that punish Travis and I
more than the kids;

like "no movies/computer/games for the whole week!"   or 

"If you don't stop fighting right now,
you are not going to Disneyland/the movies/restaurant/playdate!"

Movies and computer time are the only peace and quiet I get,
so I hate having to follow through on that one.

One time I threatened the kids with no ice cream while we were at Baskin Robbins
if they whined one more time at us.
Surprisingly they still kept fighting so Travis and I
were forced to eat our ice cream cones in front of them while they cried.
I can't deny that it was kind of funny and gratifying when we rubbed it in with our
"mmmmmm"s and "wow, this is soooo good"
while they watched us eat our ice cream.    

A recent excursion to Wal-Mart with a certain five year old
turned ugly when she saw the candy aisle.
After asking if I would buy some chocolate candy boxes she had her eye on,
I told her it would have to wait until Santa came.

Then the tirade began:

   "Why won't you EVER buy me anything???!!!"  
insert angry face with daggers in eyes, feet stomping the ground.


Next it was "Nana, or Grandma would buy it for me."

"Aunt Lindsey or Tami would buy it for me."


"You're a wicked witch!"


Then she dropped the big one:    "You are the worst Mom in the whole world!!!!!"

Shoppers are staring at me and disapprovingly shaking their head at her.

(and this is Wal-Mart we are talking about)   I wanted to cry out-
please don't judge my parenting as the reason for her disrespectful behavior.
It's her nature not her nurturing causing this!


 Thank goodness I didn't have my entire brood with me to really evoke judgements on my mothering.
There are some who might see her behavior as evidence that I shouldn't have had all those kids.

I threatened several times that the elves were watching
and she was going to lose presents if she didn't quiet down.
What I really wanted was for Travis to come and save me
or call the store manager over to take her away.
My Mom would say I should have dropped everything and taken her home.
But have you ever had those times where that is simply not an option?

I was assigned to bring something for a project that the school needed that very hour
and was in a real bind.

The verbal abuse went on for a few more aisles, and each sentence
she continued to push the envelope with worse insults.

Since people were watching I could only respond with things like:
"Do you want me to call Daddy right now and have him pick you up?"

(another warning I could not follow through with)
Sometimes I will threaten my kids with taking video of their behavior
to post on my blog/Facebook, and that always does the trick.  They will run and hide!
(I know, writing about it on the internet is just as bad so I
will have to be more careful what I write as they get older)
But this time was different, and my usual threats were not working.

 All I had left was her big Christmas wish.  When she had finally said
something to me that had gone way too far (I can't post it because it's so bad), 
I snapped back impulsively with this:

"I'm going to notify Santa of what you said.
You will never get that "Fur Real Cat"!  I'll make sure of it.
I'll bet he puts coal in your stocking."

Speaking of coal in the stocking....my kids know a boy at
school who did get coal in his stocking and no presents.
Now that's following through!  Those parents are much stronger than I.

My child did a whiny cry for the next hour but it was better than the yelling.
 I finally had a consequence that worked.  

As Christmas was fast approaching, I was really angry with myself for again threatening something
I really didn't want to follow through with.   Travis wasn't very happy about it either,
and I'm often getting scolded by him for going over the top in my punishments.

We have started watching the comedy
"The Modern Family"
and this episode hit a little too close to home.

   I knew Travis was thinking of me in this clip of the father.  LOL  

It's called "Undeck the Halls"

To see how he found his way out of canceling Christmas, watch the whole episode here

It's hilarious. :D

I was very fortunate that my child came to me on her own the day after and sincerely apologized
about the incident.  It must have been weighing on her conscience.
 What a relief that she enabled me to fix the little blunder so we can
have a wonderful Christmas morning. ;)